I have tried to be patient but after you did the following, I have no choice but to banish you from My Skinny Garden forever.
- You ripped out my second year strawberries thinking they were weeds. Compared to all the creeping charlie that is taking over my entire estate, I don't know how you thought those beautiful strawberries were weeds and the creeping charlie wasn't. But, whatever.
- When I left you a voicemail saying you ripped out my strawberries, you didn't even call to apologize. In fact, you never mentioned it again until we found your bill on our door with a note below the total (you overcharged us .50 by the way. Get a calculator!) saying "minus a few dollars for the strawberries." Frankly, Bruce, that pissed me off.
- You never mowed behind the garage or beside the house where the big ass weeds are growing. I guess you thought those were there on purpose.
- When we called to ask that you please mow the big weeds behind the garage ("if you are facing the garage door, it's on the right" we explained) the next time you came over, you hurried over the next day and mowed down my mammoth sunflower seedlings that my friend gave me, and left the big weeds behind the garage (on the right, not the left, Bruce!)
I nurse the plants along and then you come and mow them down and that breaks my heart which pisses Mr. Wonderful off and neither of us can take it anymore.
You've got a lot to learn, Bruce. Call me in about 10 years.
PS We're going to buy a new mower and mow ourselves. I don't know what we were thinking, anyway.