My Neighbor Is A Tattletale

me: "Hi Mr. Public Works Director, you left a note on my door saying you won't dispose of the shrubs that we removed from the front yard?"

mister: "Yes - your landscaper needs to dispose of them"

me: "I don't understand - you pick up stuff like this every week"

mister: "If we are informed that a landscaper is there working, we won't dispose of the stuff - the landscaper has to do it. And we got a report that a landscaper was working at your house this week.

me: "So somebody called you to tell you a landscaper was working at my house?"

mister: "We got a report that a landscaper was at your house"

me: "But I told him he didn't need to get rid of the stuff otherwise he never would have done this for me."

mister: "No, you need to call him back to dispose of it."

me: "But don't you dispose of huge Christmas trees? And you picked up the big giant ugly Juniper that I removed last year"

mister: "Yes - if you had removed these shrubs yourself we would be glad to pick them up but as I said we received a report that you had a landscaper working at your house"

me: "BUT THIS ISN'T FAIR - I DIDN'T KNOW THE RULES AND NOW HE'S GONE AND I'M LEFT WITH ALL THIS STUFF...."

I'm really kind of amazed that people have enough time to be calling the public works department to report stuff like this. Hell, I am amazed they even know all the "rules" - is there a rule book or something? In the end Mr PBW Director took pity on me and said "let me talk to my boss and see what I can do." I apologized for being a bad homeowner and said I'd never do this again and when I got home all the shrubs were gone. Take that - nosey neighbors!

In other neighbor news, my other neighbor (not the nice morning glory ladies but the one on the other side) came out while I was hauling dirt from the back to the front. She's excited that I had the nerve to remove all the shrubs. "I've been telling my kids that I want to get rid of these for years." I don't know her well at all but she's got grown kids and I'm assuming they make all the landscaping decisions. Maybe once they see how beautiful my front garden turns out, they'll let her remove her poodles too. While I had her attention I tried to explain my idea of planting ornamental grasses along the walkway between our houses. "I'm going to remove the grass on my side and plant ornamental grasses here. I won't bother the grass on your side but the grasses me spill onto your side a little when they mature." She actually gasped and looked at me like I had 3 heads. So much for that idea.