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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Tell A Funny "Pest" Story

Reading Christa's recent Squirrel versus Arugula post over at Calendula & Concrete made me remember the squirrels at the last house I lived in. Now that I have regulary pesty squirrels I can laugh about it...

Before we bought our house, we lived in a 2 flat about a mile from here. I think squirrels are a very common problem in the chicagoland area but I was always so surprised by how ballsy the squirrels were in our old neighborhood. Many days we'd head out the back door to find a squirrel standing on the deck railing a couple of feet away, just staring at us. Not only that, maybe it was just our imagination but I swear they always looked like they were crouched down in a pre jump position almost like a competitive swimmer waiting to jump into the water when the whistle blew for the big race. Not only did they look at us like they wanted to kick our asses, we'd frequently come home to find random large food items on our second floor deck. I mean things that were bigger than what you'd think a squirrel could drag up stairs without destroying, like entire untouched hotdog buns. Thats when we realized our redneck neighbor dude had started feeding them and this had only made it worse. I swear they grew more and more aggressive.

Well, Mr. W found an article about attack squirrels in some far away suburb. It seems that a guy was feeding these squirrels and then he moved (or died I can't remember). I guess the squirrels had gotten use to being fed and they were PISSED OFF that they had no dinner, so they started attacking people. I remember the picture in the article that showed these freak squirrels stuck on the sliding glass window like they were trying to claw their way into this poor family's house.

After that, Mr. W started keeping a pile of rocks on the kitchen floor by the back door. The first time I noticed a pile of rocks laying on the floor I asked (of course, who wouldnt? right?)
Me"Whats that?"
Him "rocks"
Him "they are for the squirrels"
Me "HUH, FOR THE SQUIRRELS? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" (you'd be irritable too if there were rocks in your kitchen floor ON PURPOSE!)
Him "they are for protection. we can throw them at the squirrels when we go outside so they wont attack us." he's always looking out for my safety - thats why I love him.

Every time he'd go outside, he brought a few rocks with him to throw at the squirrels while we ran for the car. Sometimes he'd go to take the trash out and turn to me, hand me some rocks and say "COVER ME! - I'M GOIN OUT!" I loved to tease him about it. Every time he'd mention the mean squirrels I'd just say "honey, just keep your rocks with you at all times and you'll be fine."

Do you have any funny pest stories? I know I've read a few that tickled me even though they were more on the violent attack side, like Carol versus the yellow jackets and Katie versus every pest known to man. I'd love to hear more!


  1. Gina... did you read about me finally trapping a rabbit earlier in the summer, but then as I held the trap up, the rabbit escaped? The rabbits LIVE to make a fool of me, and then they go off and laugh and laugh while drinking their chamomile tea!

    That's funny about the rocks!

    Carol at May Dreams Gardens

  2. carol - I did read about the escaped rabbit on your blog. HA!

  3. Dude, squirrels are mean and smarter than they let on.

    Although the rock thing totally cracked me up. Very ingenious.

  4. Funny about the rocks!

    Last summer DH and I came home to find the house in disarray. We have a cat that sometimes weirds out and runs around like crazy, so we didn't think too much of it. We'd just sat down to relax when something flashed across the floor and the cat right behind. We both jumped up to find out what it was. A chipmunk in our house! It was running back and forth and I was jumping up out of the way and the cat was chasing. We had no idea how that thing got in. DH got a box to try to trap in it, all awhile this thing is still zig-zagging back and forth from bedroom to living room, finally jumping at an open window and running into the screen. It hung on for dear life. DH was finally able to trap it in the box and put it outside. It was a crazy 10 minutes. We finally realized that it had come down the chimney and pushed out a cap on the backside of the fireplace. Our wacky cat has no clue that he is supposed to actually catch and dispose of critters, he thought it was a new playmate. (He will sit and actually watch mice!).
    Anyway, that is my funny pest story!

  5. Gina, Yes I will attest as a life-long chicagoan that the squirrels here are ballsy! Our story was when I threw some table scraps (i.e. some carrot rinds and celery) into the compost before we got an actual bin. I just buried them. The next morning we hard all this activity on our roof and when my hubbie when to check it out, there were about a dozen squirrels running around like crazy fiends. Then when we left for work, there were a dozen more in the front lounging (yes laying down) soaking up the sun on our driveway rubbing their bellies. My hubbie freaked out and asked me what happened -- "was there a full moon?" I said, "I think it was the carrots." Now we have an actual bin.