Gardener's Compulsive Plant Naming Disorder (CPND)

Disclaimer: image above is just a pretty picture I'm hoping will grab your attention. It has nothing what-so-ever to do with this post.

I've got this compulsive disorder that seems to be developing as a result of gardening and I'm curious if anybody else has it.

I compulsively name plants as I walk by them.  I don't do this out loud (thank goodness) so nobody ever knows but I can't seem to help myself.  It usually only happens when I walk by a long mixed- border type of flower bed.  For example, every morning as I walk in to work I pass by the same garden beds that line the foundation of the building where I work.  It is about two blocks long and has a variety of flowers and shrubs but for the most part they keep the same plantings there all the time.  Even though I can sit here and tell you every single plant in the bed, I still name them as I walk by them every morning.

My daily stream of consciousness

Hosta, Spirea, Heuchera...I hope I'm not late for my first meeting...

Fragrant Viburnum, Lilly, Ornamental Grass (which one is that)...I hope everybody has their timecards done on time today...

Other Hosta (wonder which one that is), Daylily, dead Spirea (this thing has been dead for over a year why don't they replace it?)...why am I naming these plants again!

I have no other compulsive disorders that I know of and though this one is very harmless, it's so annoying! 

Does anybody else compulsively name plants to themselves or do I need to be institutionalized?

Technorati Tags: tourette,gardening,plant identification,compulsive disorders

Tell A Funny "Pest" Story

Reading Christa's recent Squirrel versus Arugula post over at Calendula & Concrete made me remember the squirrels at the last house I lived in. Now that I have regulary pesty squirrels I can laugh about it...

Before we bought our house, we lived in a 2 flat about a mile from here. I think squirrels are a very common problem in the chicagoland area but I was always so surprised by how ballsy the squirrels were in our old neighborhood. Many days we'd head out the back door to find a squirrel standing on the deck railing a couple of feet away, just staring at us. Not only that, maybe it was just our imagination but I swear they always looked like they were crouched down in a pre jump position almost like a competitive swimmer waiting to jump into the water when the whistle blew for the big race. Not only did they look at us like they wanted to kick our asses, we'd frequently come home to find random large food items on our second floor deck. I mean things that were bigger than what you'd think a squirrel could drag up stairs without destroying, like entire untouched hotdog buns. Thats when we realized our redneck neighbor dude had started feeding them and this had only made it worse. I swear they grew more and more aggressive.

Well, Mr. W found an article about attack squirrels in some far away suburb. It seems that a guy was feeding these squirrels and then he moved (or died I can't remember). I guess the squirrels had gotten use to being fed and they were PISSED OFF that they had no dinner, so they started attacking people. I remember the picture in the article that showed these freak squirrels stuck on the sliding glass window like they were trying to claw their way into this poor family's house.

After that, Mr. W started keeping a pile of rocks on the kitchen floor by the back door. The first time I noticed a pile of rocks laying on the floor I asked (of course, who wouldnt? right?)
Me"Whats that?"
Him "rocks"
Me "Rocks?? IN THE KITCHEN FLOOR? WHAT THE HELL??"
Him "they are for the squirrels"
Me "HUH, FOR THE SQUIRRELS? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" (you'd be irritable too if there were rocks in your kitchen floor ON PURPOSE!)
Him "they are for protection. we can throw them at the squirrels when we go outside so they wont attack us." he's always looking out for my safety - thats why I love him.

Every time he'd go outside, he brought a few rocks with him to throw at the squirrels while we ran for the car. Sometimes he'd go to take the trash out and turn to me, hand me some rocks and say "COVER ME! - I'M GOIN OUT!" I loved to tease him about it. Every time he'd mention the mean squirrels I'd just say "honey, just keep your rocks with you at all times and you'll be fine."

Do you have any funny pest stories? I know I've read a few that tickled me even though they were more on the violent attack side, like Carol versus the yellow jackets and Katie versus every pest known to man. I'd love to hear more!